it is obvious that i am the most punk punk ever.
i am so punk that i drink and party from zero to 60 in like 6 seconds.
i can rock out so hardy, that if i was rocking out and fedor emelianenko tried to beat me up. the sheer power of motion and electrical current that my rocking and rollin would creat would send 60 watts of electricity pulsing through his body. he would need to be hospitalised if he even got within 7 feet of my punk power.
i turn the distortion up to the max. and i rock hard and fast on the frets. my song structure is simple and catchy and unpretentious. i have songs about fucking a girl at a party and how much i hate the basturdisation of middle america's christ figure.
i want to be a skin head. but not the racist kind, the cool ragae kind.
i could rock so fast that i would age 50 % slower then mere mortals who snailed along behind my agressive drums with constant snare.
Below is an interview Fedor Emelianenko recently did that appeared on his website. Here's what Fedor had to say (translation by Igor S.):
Interviewer: How many fights are you planning to do in 2005 ?
Fedor: I am planning to have 3 fights in 2005, but I do not know who my opponents will be. I may possibly take part in combat sambo competions too.
Interviewer: Not counting you and your brother, who do you think are the actual best MMA fighters?
Fedor: Antonio Rodrigo "Minotauro" Nogueira, Vanderlei Silva, Mirko "CroCop" Filipovic in PRIDE, and Randy Couture.
Interviewer: You were able to take Nogueira down very easily in your December 31st fight against him. These were clean takedowns and did not fall on his own, correct? It looked like aikido throws, which looked pretty unrealistic.
Fedor: I spent a long time on Russian teams for sambo, judo, and combat sambo... where takedowns are the main thing.
Interviewer: We know you have a third brother. Tell us some things about him. Is it possible that someday he will take part in PRIDE or other competitions?
Fedor: Ivan is doing boxing, and also does wrestling. He really wants to fight in some big MMA organisation in the future.
Interviewer: Is there a fighter that is stronger than you?
Fedor: My brother Alexander is not weaker than me, that's for sure. Just follow his fights in 2005 and you will find out.
Interviewer: Is it true that Volk Han was sick in his fight against Rodrigo "Minotauro" Nogueira?
Fedor: Yes, he was in the hospital right before this fight. He should not have taken that fight. He made many mistakes in training for that fight, and was also sick.
Interviewer: What are your hobbies?
Fedor: I like to read and I like doing some pictures.
Interviewer: Are you interested in becoming the UFC heavyweight champion?
Fedor: Yes, I am pretty interested.
Interviewer: Do you do any running when you are in training?
Fedor: Yes, I am running around 8 km in 34 minutes.
Interviewer: What do you think about Mirko "CroCop" Filipovic?
Fedor: Indeed one of the best fighters in the world.
Interviewer: If there is a fight between the both of you, what tactics will you use?
Interviewer: Do you think Mirko is dangerous for you?
Fedor: If I said he is one of the best fighters in the world then I guess so.
Interviewer: Did K-1 contact you?
Fedor: Yes, they did and it is still in progress.
Interviewer: You did some training with Jerome Le Banner. Will you train with him again, with him showing you some kickboxing techniques and you teaching him some techniques on the ground?
Fedor: Yes, we do plan to train together more. Of course I will help him with techniques on the ground. For a standup fighter he is pretty good on the ground.
Interviewer: Many people say that you hate Mirko after your brother lost to him. Is it true?
Fedor: No, it is really not true. I respect Mirko as fighter.
Interviewer: Did you ever fight with your brother, and what was the outcome?
Fedor: Yes, we did when we were young, but now it's dangerous for my health trying to do it.
Interviewer: What are you planning to do when your career is over?
Fedor: I thought about teaching young guys.
Interviewer: Do you speak any other language?
Fedor: I am learning English.
Interviewer: There are rumors that you want to fight against Bob Sapp. Is it true?
Fedor: No, it is not.
Interviewer: Are you looking forward to a rematch against Kohsaka?
Fedor: Yes, very much. Even though this loss should really be a no-contest. It was not right.
Interviewer: You say you study. Where and what are you studying?
Fedor: Yes, I study sport.
Interviewer: Do people recognize you on the street?
Fedor: Yes, especially in my city and in Japan.
Interviewer: If you will be offered more money than PRIDE pays you, will you leave PRIDE?
Fedor: My managers decide this.
Interviewer: What are you doing in your free time?
Fedor: I spend time with my family and my relatives.
Interviewer: What music do you listen to?
Fedor: I listen to Russian pop music.
Interviewer: Many people want to buy instructional books, CDs, and DVDs with your techniques. Many people do this. Do you have any plans to do this?
Fedor: I will try to do it when I have more free time.
Interviewer: Will you fight in February?
Fedor: I broke my finger in my last fight with Nogueira, so I will probably not fight.
Interviewer: Is it possible for you to defeat Philip Hudson when he is rocking out at full speed?
Fedor: No, that is a dumb question. Even god quakes with fear at the mere sight of Philip in a Jam-Session.